Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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