It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
