Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
