She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
