apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
