I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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