fuck your aforementioned shoe
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
