Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
