dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
