I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
