the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She even gives head with a lisp.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
