once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
