Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You can't just leave with hair like that
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
