That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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