Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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