He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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