Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
