Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
