dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
