Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We got so high we made milksteak
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
