I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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