john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
