I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
