his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
