I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
