They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Randomize
