Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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