I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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