if i can run in heels then i can drive
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
home. puking in laundry basket.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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