Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
