Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
