I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
