I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
