Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
