i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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