The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
