Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
