Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
