The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
