don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
