yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
