Duck Duck Cougar?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
