Pants 0. Shit 1.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
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