shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Oh god it's open bar.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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