I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He? As in you personified your dick?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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