Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
