I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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