as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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