I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
