Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I smell stomach acid.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Randomize
