I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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