i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
