I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
