I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
