Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
