you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
