You're completely useless in the revolution.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
