I bet he comes in French.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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